EARNHARDT FAN NOT-SO-SECRETLY ROOTING AGAINST BARBARO
by Andy Kissko, andykissko@yahoo.comAP- Chicago- An afternoon of casual sports watching turned into a blissful night of schadenfreude, a mere ten days ago, for removed Southern race fan Randy Sandifer- "I been watchin' NASCAR and DE (Dale Earnhardt) all my life and was done devastated when turn three at Daytona took Dale's life. All them Yankees was telling me afterward that NASCAR ain’t a sport and that he should expect to die if he drives fast for a livin' and is called 'the intimidator'. Well who's laughin' now that your racehorse just about gone died. He sure ain’t goin’
to gallop no more, that gimpy stagg," Randy stated referring to the career and possibly life-ending injury suffered by Barbaro at the recent Preakness Stakes.
He further bolstered his position "If y'all's is so smart, and I am so dumb, then why did your horse about get killed?" Sandifer later admitted that he felt slighted by some of his non-gearhead friends, family and acquaintances after Earnhardt's injury, stating
that nearly all of them chose to belittle his beloved sport. Others expressed joy at the passing of the NASCAR legend.
"I think a lot of folks out there thought I was some sort of dumbass for likin' old D.E. and NASCAR. But who's laughin' now?" a gleeful Sandifer asked rhetorically. "Everyone was lookin’ at people like me and other race fans like we's was watching cockfighting or something and we should expect gore and death or something every dang lap. All of the sudden NASCAR was some murder-happy bloodsport. Hell, if we was morons, we sure ain't the only morons now. I mean, it's kinda like we just passed that there moron torch to horse racin' fans. Big fat ass horse, little skinny ankles like a goddamn boy ballerina. That’s like using a ‘coon hitch axle on a Studebaker rebuild. You knew it would snap like a twixter in no time. It's kinda like how everyone is the country was racist toward black people a while back, and after 9/11 we all just hate them Arabics instead. Now horse racin' fans is dumb. Hell, half them horses is owned by Arabics anyhow, shoot, maybe there is a connection there somewheres,� he
further extolled from the comfort of his deeply dented couch.
When asked if this made him presently analogous to African-Americans, Randy stated "I guess it does, it really does. Maybe I'll go see if FUBU makes any D.E. Jr. shirts, or I'll put them spinners on me El Camino. Ha ha, no I don't think I'll be givin' up my Lynryrd Skynyrd for no Wu Tang Clansmen anytime soon"
Mr. Sandifer also offered some hard-earned advice to any horse-racing fans that might be emotionally distraught over Barbaro "Talk to your friends or priests or whoever about your problems. Keystone Light helps in the short term, but in the end it don't make your problem go away. I was surprised at how little good it did me getting over #3's passin'. I really was, I really was."
to gallop no more, that gimpy stagg," Randy stated referring to the career and possibly life-ending injury suffered by Barbaro at the recent Preakness Stakes.He further bolstered his position "If y'all's is so smart, and I am so dumb, then why did your horse about get killed?" Sandifer later admitted that he felt slighted by some of his non-gearhead friends, family and acquaintances after Earnhardt's injury, stating
that nearly all of them chose to belittle his beloved sport. Others expressed joy at the passing of the NASCAR legend."I think a lot of folks out there thought I was some sort of dumbass for likin' old D.E. and NASCAR. But who's laughin' now?" a gleeful Sandifer asked rhetorically. "Everyone was lookin’ at people like me and other race fans like we's was watching cockfighting or something and we should expect gore and death or something every dang lap. All of the sudden NASCAR was some murder-happy bloodsport. Hell, if we was morons, we sure ain't the only morons now. I mean, it's kinda like we just passed that there moron torch to horse racin' fans. Big fat ass horse, little skinny ankles like a goddamn boy ballerina. That’s like using a ‘coon hitch axle on a Studebaker rebuild. You knew it would snap like a twixter in no time. It's kinda like how everyone is the country was racist toward black people a while back, and after 9/11 we all just hate them Arabics instead. Now horse racin' fans is dumb. Hell, half them horses is owned by Arabics anyhow, shoot, maybe there is a connection there somewheres,� he
further extolled from the comfort of his deeply dented couch.When asked if this made him presently analogous to African-Americans, Randy stated "I guess it does, it really does. Maybe I'll go see if FUBU makes any D.E. Jr. shirts, or I'll put them spinners on me El Camino. Ha ha, no I don't think I'll be givin' up my Lynryrd Skynyrd for no Wu Tang Clansmen anytime soon"
Mr. Sandifer also offered some hard-earned advice to any horse-racing fans that might be emotionally distraught over Barbaro "Talk to your friends or priests or whoever about your problems. Keystone Light helps in the short term, but in the end it don't make your problem go away. I was surprised at how little good it did me getting over #3's passin'. I really was, I really was."
posted by Rival Room Editor at
12:00 AM
<< Home