RIVALFISH'S TOP 10 MOMENTS OF LOLLAPALOOZA

by Jonah Ansell, Rivalfish Producer/Music Writer, jonah.ansell@gmail.com

10. The Flaming Lips' blue balls of wonder.

No, we're not talking about an improperly satiated 14-year-old after a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, we're talking about the glory of The Flaming Lips and their ability to turn balloons and beach balls of all sizes into the most exciting, crowd unifying activity this side of "The Wave" -- which is incidentally banned at Wrigley Field.

Don't dismiss this as a gimmicky ploy to trick fans into think they are part of the party -- for concert goers, this legitimately felt like we were the unpopped kernels at the bottom of an Orville Redenbacher bag, watching our fellow kernels pop into balloons. This was Rock's answer to Christianity's notion of the rapture, and it was way cooler.

9. Realizing Wolfmother really is the second coming of Led Zeppelin.

These guys can rock, period. And they make a great case for the return of the jew-fro. (yes we know the lead singer is not Jewish, but we understand that to be far more









8. Kanye West's return to Chicago.

Despite the drawing power and longevity of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the crowd's response to Kanye made this feel like his personal homecoming parade. Chicago hasn't really had an A-List music icon since the Smashing Pumpkins. And Kanye's appeal reaches more demographics than Billy Corgan's, especially after Corgan decided to shave his head and look oddly like Dr. Evil. If anything felt like a 1993 Grant Park Bulls Championship Celebration, it was the tens of thousands of fans screaming for Kanye.




7. Rooting for 30 Seconds to Mars frontman Jared Leto to actually jump.

30 Seconds to Mars is a walking metaphor for all that is wrong with America, and if America is to ever fall as Rome did in 486 (thanks American History AP teacher Mr. Greenstone), 30 Seconds to Mars will be looked at as "the beginning of the end." Sure, we have George Bush at the helm of an unpopular war, gas prices rising, and we're hated by our allies around the world, but the real problem lies in everything that Jared Leto is trying to pass off as music or music showmanship.

When he climbed to the top of the rafters during in order to rile the crowd during his pained, forced, overdone performance in which he gave his best impression of a rockstar, the eye-makeup, emo-haired, cuff-wearing, all-white outfitted charlatan drew a roar of cheers and chants from some surrounding me, becknoning him to actually jump. His attempt to be genuine and successful is so fake, that it felt like Rock's version of Bush standing in front of a huge banner that read "Mission Accomplished."

Leto had street cred after Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For a Dream. All that has now been lost, and any attempts by his manager to steer his pretty-boy looks into a Johnny Depp/Brad Pitt-type quirky, offbeat, emotionally-challenging respectable career are all for naught. Let's pray Lollapalooza doesn't bring these clowns back next year. But you never know, he's a lock-solid drawing power for the 12-15 female demographic.

6. Red Hot Chili Peppers.

These guys still know how to rock 15 years after wowing fans with BloodSugarSexMagic. And despite Anthony Kiedis' brief foray into acting as Evil Surfer #2 in the classic-hipster-ironically enjoyed-flick Point Break, he is 15 times the rock star Leto will ever be.









5. Coming to terms with Corporate Sponsorship.

One thing that made Bonnaroo great was the muted presence of corporate sponsors. With stage names conceived entirely to fuck with stoners, (Which Stage, That Stage, This Stage, What Stage), the corporate brand names of each stage at Lollapalooza forced festival-goers to speak the evil tongue with their own mouths. But how evil is the tongue when it's already the brands that 18-24 "Millenials" (as Madison Avenue calls them) are already consuming? From Bud Light to Adidas to PlayStation, it's hard to argue that this stuff is being shoved own anyone's throats. Although we'd like the music to be able to speak for itself, without the corporate modifier (and corporate modifiers are increasingly trying to become the verbs themselves (Google me, Skype me, Wikipedia It, Orbitz it, etc.)....it's what you expect when you're in America's 3rd biggest city...c'mon folks, you're not in a field in the middle of Tennessee -- you're a stone's throw away from the Merck, the Aon Building and many other staples of Chicago commerce. And, we have to admit, the AT&T Blue Room actually does offer some interesting features for music fans.



4. Pot Brownies.

Are you kidding me? It's no surprise that the U.S. Tobacco industry is the biggest funder of anti-marijuana campaigns. Anyone in the 18-24 year old demographic who happened to devour one of these while watching Gnarls Barkley perform the hit of the decade "Crazy" (or The Raconteurs or Mates of State who also performed said song), surely knows the power of the body buzz and mind bend of a pot brownie. Sure Uncle Sam and the dude in the Oval Office want you spending your time more wisely, but Ben Harper reminds us that what's from the earth is of the greatest worth. Who you gonna trust when push comes to shove? Just make sure to drink lots of water. And you didn't hear this from us, if your mom or the Chicago Police Department asks you.

3. The Go! Team emerging as the biggest thing out of England since The Beatles.

Ok, that was a bold claim but we just wanted to grab your attention. This band is electrifying. They will be headlining Lollapalooza in five years. They remind me of watching Braves OF Andrew Jones belt 2 HRs in the world series when he was still a teenager, or watching LeBrown James as an 18 year old NBA star.












2. There is no #2.

Top 10 lists are cliched and they exploit our desire to rank and order our world and our experiences within that world. We will not give you that luxury dear reader. This is now a top 9 list.

1. Lollapalooza as a staple in Chicago.

After covering Bonnaroo, Pitchfork, and a number of other festivals and shows, it is safe to say Chicago is quickly becoming one of the nation's #1 destinations for live music and Lollapalooza is one of the best festivals in the country. Sure, Austin and New Orleans will always have history, and L.A. will always have an abundance of yayo, but Chicago is back on the map and we look forward to many years of Lollapalooza leading the way in the city. Though let's hope next August, The Windy City is a touch less sweaty, humid and sticky.