DESIGNATED HEBREW: The Ron Blomberg Interview
"On April 6th, 1973, Ron "Boomer" Blomberg of the New York Yankees stepped to the plate as the first Designated Hitter in Major League Baseball, assuring him an indelible spot in baseball history and an honorary spot in Cooperstown. He was also stepping to the plate as, like, the sixth Chosen Person out of about 6,456,283 persons to record an official MLB at-bat. Thankfully, this combination of circumstances allowed Ron to use the catchy "DH: Designated Hebrew" play-on-an-acronym he had been thinking about since MLB started experimenting with the DH rule during spring training '69. Some people have all the luck. Now he's written a book by the same name (www.designatedhebrew.com) and thinks our Jew-founded site would be a great outlet for some well-scripted publicity. Hear that mom? I've gained acceptance from the Semitic community despite my best efforts to deny your faith! Thanks Boomer!" - Tello Real, Editor-in-Chiefby Tello Real, mraspatello@rivalfish.com
My girlfriend and I have a layover at JFK on December 28th on the way to a Birthright Israel trip to the promised land? Since I'm hyping your new book, and spending ten days learning how to spread Jewish acceptance throughout my peers, and a poor entrepreneur, you think you can take us out for lunch?
Sure, I'd be happy to. I think it'll be wonderful if you spread the word about my book throughout the Promised Land. And the greatest part is that we have the book in Hebrew. So bring your copy over for the Jews (I was never given a copy, but hey, details). And if you are making a trip to JFK, you need to stop at The Stage Deli for the new Ron Blomberg
Sandwhich.
Wow, that's like the Jewish Holy Grail if you get a sandwich named after you there.
Yeah, it's got corned beef, pastrami, chopped liver, and onions.
Moses knows I'm a fan of that. Hotter Jew: Sarah Silverman or Georgina Bloomberg? Sorry I couldn't think of any others.
Georgina Bloomberg. (I knew he'd say that). She's a relative of mine. All Blombergs, no matter the spelling are from the same family tree. I told the mayor that if he gets reelected, he's going to have to change his name to one "O." So yeah, Georgina is in my Tribe Tree.
My only celebrity interviews have been Lewis Black (Jew), Matisyahu (Jew), Joel Cummins (dorky piano player with glasses, so probably a Jew), and You. Do you think that being Semitic-Centric in the media is just as damaging as being blatantly anti-Semitic?
No, it's fine.
Is your mom still pissed you aren't a doctor or a lawyer?
Well, right now she is because I'm an ex-professional athlete. If I was a doctor or lawyer, and didn't come up with injuries like I did, I'd be employed right now. Now what I'm doing is a lot of speaking engagements and sports radio engagements. These engagements are the only way I have a job while I have a lot of relatives who are lawyers, whom always have jobs. For the last thirty years I've merely been an unemployed ex-professional athlete. I'm like Barry Manilow. If he's not doing a speaking engagement he has nothing to do.
See, Mothers do know best. Maybe I shouldn't have sold mine into Kazakh slavery. Do you think the fact that you had an injury-plagued career had anything to do with the present misconception that Jews are fragile and weak?
No, I don't. See, for me, I hit a homerun in Milwaukee and my shoulder tore, and I hit a wall in Winterhaven and my knee broke apart. Walking down the street I never pulled any hamstrings and I never pulled any hamstrings making road trips. I had some injury plagued seasons but I at least got hurt running into walls and hitting homeruns.
Yeah, and let's be honest, while you may not have lived up to the "next Mickey Mantle" hype, who's in better shape now, you or The Mick? Well, if I wake up and touch the ground every single day I'm winning. And I'm winning today, and hopefully I'll be winning tomorrow. And for a long time to come, hopefully I'll keep winning.
Yep, you're winning. Do you ever kinda wish Hank Greenberg and Shawn Green were never born so that you'd be more famous?
No, no. I think playing as long as I did in New York city, the Jews did a p
retty good job of keeping me famous within The Tribe. In New York city, while I played, there was only one other Jewish athlete, Art Shamsky of the Mets. But because the Yankees were better than the Mets at the time and I wasn't the most introverted guy in the world, I became more popular. Going out and doing all the weddings and lighting the candles, it made me pretty famous. Shawn Green unfortunately is only probably going to be here on the Mets for one year and I was here much longer, but I wish him well.
Quick, Top Five Jewish Athletes of All Time.
Sandy Koufax, uh, excluding me?
No, you can add yourself, but if excluding you, it'll be harder.
Okay, I'll go with HANK GREENBERG, uhhhhhhhhh [extended silence] I'll put SHAWN GREEN. Then RED AUERBACH, who just passed away, and uh, MARV LEVY. That's pretty good to think about five Jews who played in a mere thirty seconds cause there weren't too many Jewish pros that did anything.
Yeah, personally I didn't think you were going to make it to five, and I'm going to have to take your word for it that Levy and Auerbach weren't merely coaches and never good players.
Yeah, I'm pretty good on these game shows. I'm going on the Regis and Kelly show in a few weeks and I know he's going to try to stump me. And I've got the Ellen Degeneres show and then the Jimmy Kimmel show and they're all going to try to stump me but they aren't going to be able to. I'm pretty smart.
Alright, well make sure you tell them about this interview too. Are there any anti-Semitic baseball players who you have no qualms with me outing as a racist on my site?
Well, there are some anti-Semitic players that were against me when I played, but I'm not like Jose Canseco where I want to come out and kill anybody. Unfortunately I see some of these guys at "Old-Timer" nights at Yankees Stadium, but I don't try to kill 'em. If I mention a name on the air, or whatever, the New York Post or the Daily News will be calling me up every single day and trying to make a big story out of it. Wherever I've been there's always been a lot of people against me, but I'm just the kind of guy who is going to go out and kill them. Hell, when I was in high school, half of my team was in the Ku Klux Klan. So I grew up around a lot of problem people that I just avoided... and then I beat 'em.
That leads me to my next question. Growing up in Georgia with that going on around you, did you have a special bond with the Black kids?
Oh, absolutely. Bobby Bonds was my roommate. You know what? It's really really funny. My closest friends on the team when I played were Thurman Munson, Mickey Rivers, and Oscar Gamble. Those guys were really like my brothers. Even Reggie Jackson and I were very very close for a couple of years while I was there. In New York, being a major minority because I was a Jew, the blacks and I really stuck together. Because you know, the Jews, the Blacks, and the Italians stick together because we're one big family.
Leave the Italians out of this. Alright, last question. Hear any good Jewish jokes lately?
What? Uh, no! I'm not that smart, ask me another question. We can't leave on that answer.
F
ine. In your prime, what was a better pick-up move with the ladies? Flashing the World Series ring, or the "Designated Hebrew" line.
The World Series ring, because the ring means something all across the world. There were a lot of beautiful Jewish girls I went out with throughout my career, and the greatest thing they can ever see is the sparkle of that diamond ring on your finger. They see the World Series and New York Yankees insignias, and your name on the ring. I'd go into a club, like Studio 54, and even though it wasn't necessarily a way I thought I wanted to meet somebody, you knew you always wanted to meet somebody anyway you could.
Was Studio 54 as crazy as they say it was?
It was, and more. Cause Steve Rubell, even though he ran into some trouble later, was good friends with a lot of the guys. So his place was a Walt Frazier-type of place, a Joe Namath-type of place. You know, they really took care of us. It was a great time in New York, to be able to go to a place like Studio 54 and have a good time. And you could really have a good time.
Wow, I can't even imagine. Thanks Ron, and I'm going to take you up on that lunch in New York come December. I'll have my guys call your guys. It'll be a Mitzvah. Shalom bro!
Buy this unemployed man's book! Click here or he'll be eating his namesake sandwhich every day for the rest of his life.
My girlfriend and I have a layover at JFK on December 28th on the way to a Birthright Israel trip to the promised land? Since I'm hyping your new book, and spending ten days learning how to spread Jewish acceptance throughout my peers, and a poor entrepreneur, you think you can take us out for lunch?
Sure, I'd be happy to. I think it'll be wonderful if you spread the word about my book throughout the Promised Land. And the greatest part is that we have the book in Hebrew. So bring your copy over for the Jews (I was never given a copy, but hey, details). And if you are making a trip to JFK, you need to stop at The Stage Deli for the new Ron Blomberg
Sandwhich.Wow, that's like the Jewish Holy Grail if you get a sandwich named after you there.
Yeah, it's got corned beef, pastrami, chopped liver, and onions.
Moses knows I'm a fan of that. Hotter Jew: Sarah Silverman or Georgina Bloomberg? Sorry I couldn't think of any others.
Georgina Bloomberg. (I knew he'd say that). She's a relative of mine. All Blombergs, no matter the spelling are from the same family tree. I told the mayor that if he gets reelected, he's going to have to change his name to one "O." So yeah, Georgina is in my Tribe Tree.
My only celebrity interviews have been Lewis Black (Jew), Matisyahu (Jew), Joel Cummins (dorky piano player with glasses, so probably a Jew), and You. Do you think that being Semitic-Centric in the media is just as damaging as being blatantly anti-Semitic?
No, it's fine.
Is your mom still pissed you aren't a doctor or a lawyer?
Well, right now she is because I'm an ex-professional athlete. If I was a doctor or lawyer, and didn't come up with injuries like I did, I'd be employed right now. Now what I'm doing is a lot of speaking engagements and sports radio engagements. These engagements are the only way I have a job while I have a lot of relatives who are lawyers, whom always have jobs. For the last thirty years I've merely been an unemployed ex-professional athlete. I'm like Barry Manilow. If he's not doing a speaking engagement he has nothing to do.
See, Mothers do know best. Maybe I shouldn't have sold mine into Kazakh slavery. Do you think the fact that you had an injury-plagued career had anything to do with the present misconception that Jews are fragile and weak?
No, I don't. See, for me, I hit a homerun in Milwaukee and my shoulder tore, and I hit a wall in Winterhaven and my knee broke apart. Walking down the street I never pulled any hamstrings and I never pulled any hamstrings making road trips. I had some injury plagued seasons but I at least got hurt running into walls and hitting homeruns.Yeah, and let's be honest, while you may not have lived up to the "next Mickey Mantle" hype, who's in better shape now, you or The Mick? Well, if I wake up and touch the ground every single day I'm winning. And I'm winning today, and hopefully I'll be winning tomorrow. And for a long time to come, hopefully I'll keep winning.
Yep, you're winning. Do you ever kinda wish Hank Greenberg and Shawn Green were never born so that you'd be more famous?
No, no. I think playing as long as I did in New York city, the Jews did a p
retty good job of keeping me famous within The Tribe. In New York city, while I played, there was only one other Jewish athlete, Art Shamsky of the Mets. But because the Yankees were better than the Mets at the time and I wasn't the most introverted guy in the world, I became more popular. Going out and doing all the weddings and lighting the candles, it made me pretty famous. Shawn Green unfortunately is only probably going to be here on the Mets for one year and I was here much longer, but I wish him well.Quick, Top Five Jewish Athletes of All Time.
Sandy Koufax, uh, excluding me?
No, you can add yourself, but if excluding you, it'll be harder.
Okay, I'll go with HANK GREENBERG, uhhhhhhhhh [extended silence] I'll put SHAWN GREEN. Then RED AUERBACH, who just passed away, and uh, MARV LEVY. That's pretty good to think about five Jews who played in a mere thirty seconds cause there weren't too many Jewish pros that did anything.
Yeah, personally I didn't think you were going to make it to five, and I'm going to have to take your word for it that Levy and Auerbach weren't merely coaches and never good players.
Yeah, I'm pretty good on these game shows. I'm going on the Regis and Kelly show in a few weeks and I know he's going to try to stump me. And I've got the Ellen Degeneres show and then the Jimmy Kimmel show and they're all going to try to stump me but they aren't going to be able to. I'm pretty smart.
Alright, well make sure you tell them about this interview too. Are there any anti-Semitic baseball players who you have no qualms with me outing as a racist on my site?
Well, there are some anti-Semitic players that were against me when I played, but I'm not like Jose Canseco where I want to come out and kill anybody. Unfortunately I see some of these guys at "Old-Timer" nights at Yankees Stadium, but I don't try to kill 'em. If I mention a name on the air, or whatever, the New York Post or the Daily News will be calling me up every single day and trying to make a big story out of it. Wherever I've been there's always been a lot of people against me, but I'm just the kind of guy who is going to go out and kill them. Hell, when I was in high school, half of my team was in the Ku Klux Klan. So I grew up around a lot of problem people that I just avoided... and then I beat 'em.
That leads me to my next question. Growing up in Georgia with that going on around you, did you have a special bond with the Black kids?
Oh, absolutely. Bobby Bonds was my roommate. You know what? It's really really funny. My closest friends on the team when I played were Thurman Munson, Mickey Rivers, and Oscar Gamble. Those guys were really like my brothers. Even Reggie Jackson and I were very very close for a couple of years while I was there. In New York, being a major minority because I was a Jew, the blacks and I really stuck together. Because you know, the Jews, the Blacks, and the Italians stick together because we're one big family.
Leave the Italians out of this. Alright, last question. Hear any good Jewish jokes lately?
What? Uh, no! I'm not that smart, ask me another question. We can't leave on that answer.
F
ine. In your prime, what was a better pick-up move with the ladies? Flashing the World Series ring, or the "Designated Hebrew" line. The World Series ring, because the ring means something all across the world. There were a lot of beautiful Jewish girls I went out with throughout my career, and the greatest thing they can ever see is the sparkle of that diamond ring on your finger. They see the World Series and New York Yankees insignias, and your name on the ring. I'd go into a club, like Studio 54, and even though it wasn't necessarily a way I thought I wanted to meet somebody, you knew you always wanted to meet somebody anyway you could.
Was Studio 54 as crazy as they say it was?
It was, and more. Cause Steve Rubell, even though he ran into some trouble later, was good friends with a lot of the guys. So his place was a Walt Frazier-type of place, a Joe Namath-type of place. You know, they really took care of us. It was a great time in New York, to be able to go to a place like Studio 54 and have a good time. And you could really have a good time.
Wow, I can't even imagine. Thanks Ron, and I'm going to take you up on that lunch in New York come December. I'll have my guys call your guys. It'll be a Mitzvah. Shalom bro!
posted by Rival Room Editor at
1:13 AM
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